Dear Old Navy,

Dear Old Navy,
I would like to begin by apologizing for a few things. 


1st: I am sorry for the possible loss of employees that, most likely, quit their job after witnessing my dear, sweet daughter (Iyla) in action today. I am sure that you can find them down at the local Planned Parenthood office getting the necessary procedures done to ensure that they CANNOT ever give birth to a childlike demon like they encountered today. 


2nd: I am sorry to the little robotic dog that NEVER SEEMS TO WORK (ever). Upon realizing that it did not work my darling little girl felt the need to express her hatred for the always defunct electronic pooch by kicking, hitting, spitting, slapping, jumping on and finally, attempting to bite the harmless little k9. A word of advice, fix the DAMN thing so maybe parents like myself can use it as necessary distraction tool for disobedient toddlers in RAGE mode.


and 3rd:
I am sorry to the patron, who has probably already filed a petition with the state to ban all small children from any public place EVER again. I am hoping that she was planning on purchasing a new pair of slacks since my diabolical toddler decided that throwing my $4.85 Starbucks chai latte at her was the best idea at the time. If she happens to inquire about us, in terms of legal action, please feel free to inform her that she can take up her issues with the local adoption agency because that is where she will find the little felon responsible for all of this.


Sincerely,
Ya' right, like I would leave my name for you to track me down...HA!!!